On Sunday I was so low – not knowing how this Dorchester top ten finalist deal was going to pan out – especially after I received the rejection from them last Friday from another department. Sunday night I get the news that I’ve finaled in a different contest and an editor from a different NY publisher will be judging it. Whoot!
Monday dawns bright and clear and I wait on pins and needles all day to see if I’m going to be cut from Dorchester. I’ve pretty much figured I will be, but I still have a shred of hope. The entire day is spent checking emails or shuttling back and forth to school for various first grade activities and third grade famous American projects.
Imagine my shock when V V got picked by Dorchester to be in the top ten – to say I was flabbergasted when I got home and read the results is putting it mildly. I ran downstairs to tell Pete – ’cause we both work from home. He was on a call. I called my mom – she was thrilled for me. I called my writing buddy – Supriya – who didn’t answer the phone (again, damn you!!). I called pretty much anyone who I thought would care. I was seriously on a high – it was amazing.
And then I calmed down read all the info provided and realized the dates had changed for our full submissions. I quickly decided to scrap my attempt at NaNo and figured I’d write book two next month so I could finish my edits. I can’t tell you how happy I was that they were almost done and that I learned to write better by the middle of the book.
I pushed through the remaining chapters in two days and sent them off to my fabulous writing buddy — whom only rarely answers my calls but does copy-edit for me like a banshee. 😉
Next came the round of doctors appointments – three scheduled for this week. I swear I’m so sick of white coats and waiting rooms that if I never see another one in ten years it will be too soon. My good friend Tre reminded me that lots of people don’t have insurance and can’t get the treatment they need for medical problems, so I’ll stop my string of bitching at the previous comment.
What I can say is that despite all the good news and the highs and lows of the past week I’ve had some set-backs. My dysfunctional auto-immune system is kicking back up with some unknown allergens and my throat was closing on four separate occasions this week. The medicine for the Lyme’s makes me sick some days. I’ve been told the numbness and the tingling in my left hand could take a year or more to go away.
Oh- and today’s oncologist/hematologist requested more tests and brought up the possibility of MS again. It seems like the results from my spinal fluid indicate MS, but other tests are showing I don’t have it. Which could mean I’m in the early stages or I don’t have it and the results are from Lyme’s disease.
One thing that confuses me is this – most people that have the neurological issues I have that get the spinal tap done don’t have any indicators of MS if they don’t have it – and then the doctor sends them to a specialist that uncovers the Lyme’s. It’s not normally done like this – where you have Lyme’s and they test you for signs of MS as well and then say “no, we don’t think you have that” when the results say yeah, you might.
The doctor today was frank and honest. He told me my allergies are getting worse if I’ve had four bad reactions in a week and I will have to take some daily meds – which seriously isn’t bad when you think about it. His big push was that if I don’t stay ahead of this and can’t self treat with diet that I may go past the throat closing part (it’s just my esophagus, I can breathe fine) and graduate to the “I can’t breathe” part and then that could be really bad.
The worse part of today’s appointment was when he broke the news that I will need a another spinal tap. I swear, it took all I could not to cry. That week of hell on my back with the pain was worse than anything I’ve had to go through. Dare I compare it to the 35 hour birth of my daughter? Yes, because they gave me lots of drugs then and I was in the hospital.
That second spinal tap will be way down the line – after we get rid of the Lyme’s so I’m going to choose to ignore it right now. The memory of last month is too fresh to think about.
He also pointed out if I don’t handle all this allergy stuff we’re talking another procedure to balloon open my throat again. Ugh. So while I’d like to say today was a good day I’d be hard pressed to say that.
Could it be stress triggering these throat closings and stuff? Could it be excitement? I’d like to say yes, that’s it. But I had two flare ups before the rejections even came in last week, so I’m not sure. This whole thing sucks but in the big picture I know I’ll be fine. It’s not cancer so it could always be worse.
I seriously doubt I could have Celiac’s, EE, Lyme’s and Multiple Sclerosis in less than one year. I mean, good god, what are the chances? It has got to be related to the Lyme’s. I know it.
Okay – let’s think about the pluses of my day before I close my journal entry. I had a great editorial experience with the Dorchester editor. She was friendly and supportive and I really think she likes my book. Here’s to hoping they like it better than the others, but there are some damn fine writers in the competition so anything goes.
This next month could really be a turning point for me in this brand new writing career. How amazing to be so lucky to be a part of this contest and to have the support of so many people. To think that total strangers like my work enough to reach out and vote for me is truly the biggest thing that’s ever happened to me in my life. To be recognized for something that started as a diversion from my health concerns is beyond anything I ever could have imagined.
Hope all of you aren’t tired of hearing me beg for votes because I’m sure I’ll be doing that next week as well 😉