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OCPD – and no, it’s not OCD

September 18, 2009

Those of you that know me well, know that I went through some therapy a few years back when I was depressed. I’m not the type to be in therapy for years, so once I figured out what my issues were I got out and worked on them.

I don’t look down on the people who go for years, seriously, it’s your money not mine. But I do think that if you are really there for help you will work with the therapist to solve your issues rather than treat them like a buddy you go and chat with each week.

Therapy is how I was evaluated and then informed that I have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. If you look it up, don’t judge me. There are varying degrees of this “condition” and I’m pretty mild. But, for those of you that know me well, it does answer quite a few questions.

That drive or “obsession” is what has made me who I am today. It helps to keep me pain free from migraines as well as being semi-difficult to live with. It enabled me and my husband to flip three houses while living in them, write a book in four months and have the beginnings of what may be a pretty good writing career ahead of me.

But, in times like this, with the specter of multiple sclerosis hanging over my head – it makes me obsess on the things in my life that I can control in order to ignore the things I can’t. Like this newest contest I’ve entered on

I’m at the point where I’m on the cusp of being in the top 20. I have weeks to go, with my competitors gaining votes as well, before the contest ends. I’m actually considering individually emailing my friends and family – to harass them to vote. How sad is THAT? Next, I will call them. See? I have a plan.

I’ve done a lot for other people over the course of my life and I’m thinking that this vote isn’t too much to ask. It’s not like I’m running for president or anything serious – it’s just a simple writing contest that could get me the notice I need to get a publishing contract.

A recent revelation has disappointed me as well. Out of 1200 “fans” on facebook, less than 10% have turned out to support me. I know because I’ve kept track. That’s freakin‘ depressing. Why did they become a fan if they didn’t truly give a crap? I have met some great people on there that I have become associated with, and I’m so glad I did the fan page. They’re supporting me and they’ve only known me for a short time. It amazes me that they would do that without ever having met me.

That’s more than I can say for my fellow writers in the writing guilds I’m apart of. No one even responded – out of several hundred – to my request for a vote. But then again, some of them have the attitude that “if I help you, you’ll get published before me”. They act as if there are only a certain number of us that have a chance of success in this business. There is always room for good writers willing to work hard and sell their work – the real issue is they lack the self confidence to see that.

I’ll get off my soapbox now. Hey – it’s nice to focus on something other than my upcoming MRI.

Maybe I’ll organize the house again this weekend.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Nicole_Hadaway permalink
    September 21, 2009 1:48 pm

    I didn't have a account, and I don't like signing up for new things that can fill up my email box with adverts and such, but I signed up for textnovel just now and voted for your book because I know how important it is for authors to support one another.

    Your story is great, your a driven author, and you will make it! Best of luck, CJ!

  2. C.J. Ellisson permalink
    September 23, 2009 12:27 pm

    Thanks so much Nicole! I've been down that I hadn't had many fellow writer friends come out to vote for me. I think you're number four! Yay!

    And yes, I'm going to promptly go out and get your ebook now. Good luck to you as well!


  3. Nicole_Hadaway permalink
    September 23, 2009 2:07 pm

    Thanks so much, CJ! Hope you like it! Don't get too down, honestly, I think writers get so caught up in their own work that they forget about helping others. But thanks for reminding me!

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