Bright and early!
Hard to believe I’ve already been up for an hour, choked down black coffee and managed to be on FB and off for the day. With this type of discipline I should be back on track with the writing goals.
I did not complete the chapter yesterday like I’d hoped. It is making me look within and examine myself a bit more closely then I’d like. What is it about this scene that makes me cringe away? Is it the delivery? Trying to figure out how to relate her pain or the act of writing out her pain that bothers me?
I know I don’t want it to be a ‘dream scape’ type of thing or a flash back, but I need to bring her pain into the present and allow the reader to experience the crippling moment she feels. I have come to realize the hardest part is not the writing – it is trying to capture the moment well enough to convey it to others, and then actually letting other people read it.
Some of the critiquers in my groups and on the sites I’m a member of have not been so nice. Opening myself up to the public for scrutiny is a hard thing. Everyone tells you to divorce your self from it and take the comments as remarks on the piece and not yourself – but honestly that has always confused me.
If I’m writing as a job, with the goal in mind to sell the book, and I have someone rip the work apart (and trust me, people have told me they hate the main character, my style and my voice – and Damn, that’s harsh) – how does one not take that personally? That would be akin to me coming to their place of work and ripping on the results of hours of their time and telling them their end product sucks.
My buddies have told me ‘they are talking about the writing, they are not attacking you personally’, but hey, if I created this work and I alone am responsible for it, then how is that not insulting me as well? What can I do? Turn around and point to the dog and say ‘that bitch edited out the best parts, don’t blame me’?
Okay, enough of the self doubt and pontification, it’s not in my charater and I’ve got to let it go. There will be people that hate it and there will be people that don’t, just gotta live with that.
Off to write the painful parts… ugh, I don’t think I’m going to let myslef sleep tonight until I get past this. I wouldln’t call it a block, but it is definitely a stumbling point!